Accidents Happen
by Czarina Spork Columbia
Summary: The class goes on a field trip to the bat caves. But Phoebe's afraid of bats. Why? Only Dorothy Ann knows.
1. part I

A/N- Spork wrote ths first part, Columbia wrote the second. Yeah, we're strange. You shoulda guessed that one right off. Anyway, enjoy the story and don't get too freaked. We think you'll like it. You might want to re-read it over cause we put stuff in there that you might have missed. 

D/C- We don't own Magic School Bus or bats. No bats were injured in the making of this story. Just Phoebe's dad. 

Accidents Happen

  


by Czarina Spork and Columbia

part I 

Even though Ms. Frizzle always told us to be extra careful when we went on field trips, a lot of times we could hardly tell what we were doing. Last week we went to the bat caves to learn about how bats find their way through the dark caves; none of us could have suspected what would happen. 

We sat in the classroom that frosty July morning waiting for Ms. Frizzle to enter. Everyone was anxious about the field trip she had been talking about. We were pretty surprised she wasn't fired for taking us, especially since she didn't tell anyone she was going. The district thought we were in the classroom- they never suspected that we were in any sort of peril. 

I'm Wanda. I've been a fifth grader in Ms. Frizzle's class since last August, and all that time out of the classroom made everyone fail. Even Ms. Frizzle's crazy teaching techniques couldn't save the stupid kids. 

As we approached the caves, Phoebe screamed and burst into tears. She refused to go inside. I looked over at Arnold and Ralphie who were laughing at her. I felt bad for her. 

"Come on you weasley wimp! It's just a bunch of bats!" I marched up to her and hit her on the back. She cried harder. Arnold and Ralphie laughed harder. Carlos started crying too. Ms. Frizzle told us to go inside the welcome center until she could shut them up. 

"I know why she's crying," Dorothy Ann said. "It's because of her dad." 

We all circled around her and looked out the window at Ms. Frizzle trying to console Carlos and Phoebe. We could understand partly why Carlos was crying; he was a dork, but why was Phoebe? She was a big mean poo-poo head and no one knew why she was crying...except for DA. 

"When she was a little girl, about five or so, she was at the bat caves with her dad, just the two of them. It was their outing, you know, their special time. Nothing could ruin her day with her dad- the best dad in the world." 

The circle tightned around DA as she wiped her eyes quickly. 

"But something did. 

They were walking through the caves with only their flashlights to guide them. Her father was holding her tightly. 

'Don't let go, Pheebs, we don't want to get lost,' he told her. 

'I won't let go daddy, I promise,' she said. She made him a promise and regrets her decision to get a closer look. A bat flew over her head, and she shook her head playfully and giggled. 'Daddy, one of them crapped on me!' 

They were a happy couple, Phoebe and her father, and she was stupid with glee. Just then, Phoebe heard the flap of another bat's wings, and she jumped up. 

'Daddy, watch me catch this one! Watch me!' 

'No!' he said. 'No, I can't see you, don't let go of my hand!' 

Phoebe dropped her father's hand and chased the little bat." 

DA paused so that the group could catch their breath. We had gone from Indian style seating to upon our knees in anticipation. 

"Well?" Keesha asked. "What happened next?" 

DA continued. "Phoebe's father screamed her name, but she just kept running. She was giggling so loud she couldn't hear him yelling. 

'Phoebe, no, stop!' 

Then there was silence. 

'Phoebe? Phoebe, where did you go honey?' 

'I'm over here, Daddy!' 

'Okay Phoebe, slowly make your way to me,' he instructed her. She didn't say anything, but her father could her running, very fast, toward him. 

'No, Phoebe! No running in the caves!' She couldn't hear him, and her father stopped trying to convince her to slow down. When he took a step forward he heard a loud clunk. 

'Ow, Daddy, I ran into a wall!' 

'I told you not to run; now the bats are mad! You've disturbed their slumber! Now one of us must die!' 

There was a rumble in the walls of the cave, and a screech coming from the direction of Phoebe's untimely collision, getting louder and louder. 

'Stay down, Phoebe, stay down!' She obeyed for once; her father tried to duck down, but he was too late. All Phoebe told me was that she heard him scream, 'OW, MY RETINAS!' Then she followed the bats out of the cave to find help." 

DA stood up and looked out the window. Phoebe had stopped crying, but Carlos was all wet. 

"Hey! I can read lips!" Ralphie said as he ran toward the window to see what Phoebe was telling Ms. Frizzle. "...and that's why I never run in the halls. Please Ms. Frizzle, don't make me go into the cave!" Ralphie turned around with a smug on his face. 

"Is that all she said?" Arnold asked. 

"No, now she's saying, 'Let me stay out here and make out with Arnold! He's afraid of bat's too.'" 

"That liar, I'm not afraid of bats!" Arnold retorted. 

"He was kidding!" I said in my flirty voice. 

"Is there something in your throat?" Arnold asked me. 

We walked outside when Ms. Frizzle signaled it was okay, and together we walked into the cave. Phoebe held DA's hand, and Carlos grabbed Ralphie's Pokémon t-shirt. 

We weren't one hundred feet in when we heard Arnold talking to himself. "Oh, Phoebe, you have a great back." He slid his hand up her back. "Oh, and you didn't wear a bra today. That's sexy!" 

"Get your hands off me, you fruit!" Ralphie screamed and ran away. 

"Okay children, calm down, we need to stay together," Ms. Frizzle demanded in her annoying nasal whine, more annoying than mine. 

"Where's Ralphie?" Carlos was feeling around him to find his friend. 

"Ow, that's my boob!" Keesha turned around to slap him. 

"You pervert!" DA shrieked. She slapped him too. 

"Hey, that was me, DA!" Arnold argued. 


	2. part II

A/N- Ahhh, part II. How fun... 

D/C- We DO NOT own the Magic School Bus. 

Accidents Happen

  


by Czarina Spork and Columbia

part II 

After everyone felt each other up and slapped one another, we peacefully went through the cave. Arnold was still on his quest to feel up Phoebe. It pissed me off. Stoopid, poo-poo headed Phoebe! 

We turned on the lights on our hard hats as the cave got deeper. It was hot in there. 

"Phoebe, find someone else's had to hold," DA said. "Your hand is too wet!" 

"I'll hold you, Phoebe!" Arnold automatically volunteered. 

Everyone laughed on how he said it. I bet he was blushing. 

"Class, be quiet, we're coming up to the nesting grounds," Ms. Frizzle said quietly. 

"Nesting grounds?!" Phoebe shrieked. "Arnold, hold me!" 

Everyone giggled. 

We turned off our lamps and could hear the bats squeaking. Not only that but we could also hear Phoebe whimpering. Just then, one of the bats flew from the ceiling of the cave and around us. 

"AAAHHH!!" Phoebe screamed. "It's in my hair! It's in my hair!!" 

She ran out of the cave, screaming bloody Mary. 

"Phoebe!" Arnold called after her. 

"Forget her!" I said. "We need to keep going." 

How could a bat eat your retina without it going through your eye first? WHY would a bat eat your retina? Maybe Phoebe told the story wrong to DA, or maybe she was being stupid as always. Sometimes I think Liz, the class lizard, is smarter than her. 

No, correction: I _know_ Liz is smarter than Phoebe. 

"We'd better go after her," Ms. Frizzle said. "I don't want to get sued again." 

The seven of us ran out of the cave after Ms. Frizzle. We found Phoebe sitting on a log, scratching her head. 

"They were going to eat my retinas...they were going to eat my retinas," she mumbled to herself. 

"What's going on here?" one of the park rangers asked. 

"She's fu--" I was about to say. 

"Wanda!" Ms. Frizzle hissed. 

The park ranger, whose name was Steve, sat down next to Phoebe. "It's ok, it's normal for little girls to be afraid of rodents." 

"Even if they eat your retinas?" Phoebe asked. 

Steve stood up and faced Ms. Frizzle. "Wow, she is fu--" 

"Steve!" Ms. Frizzle hissed. 

"Sorry, anyway, I think she needs to see a film we have about bats. They're showing it at the IMAX theater in the welcome center." 

"Good, good," Ms. Frizzle said. She looked at Phoebe. "See, Phoebe? You're getting help!" 

"I don't WANT help--" Phoebe was cut off by Ralphie. 

"'I want Arnold!'," Ralphie said in his "Phoebe" voice. 

Everyone busted a gut, even Ms. Frizzle. Arnold looked pissed and Phoebe stared blankly at us. I wiped a tear away. Damn, I was laughing so hard. 

"To the IMAX!" Ms. Frizzle said. 

We made a single file line to the IMAX. Ms. Frizzle pulled out her wallet when we got to the ticket booth. 

"Hmm, which movie? 'Batz'? 'When the Bats Ate Humankind'? 'When Bats Attack 5'? Oh, there it is! 'The Bat is Your Friend'. Nine tickets for 'The Bat Is Your Friend'." 

Ms. Frizzle bought the tickets and we went in. Phoebe sat next to Arnold. Obviously. The movie started out with this really stupid music. Then these kids dressed like it was the 80's came out. The bottom said "copyright: 1983". 

"The bat is your friend," the narrator said. "The bat will not hurt you. The bat will not bite you. Unless you do what Billy here is doing." 

They showed some stupid skinny boy start provoking the bat by pulling it's wings. Then all of a sudden, the bat reared around and DECAPITATED the boy! OMG!! It was AWESOME! This was an educational form of _Sleepy Hollow_ with Johnny Depp! 

"AHH!" Phoebe screamed as she grabbed Arnold. 

Phoebe dug her face into Arnold's shirt. I looked Arnold's face. He was white with fear. Ralphie, Tim, and Carlos cheered. DA and Keesha were shocked, then they went relaxed. 

"See? Billy was not very smart. But if you look at Sally, she is treating the bat with kindness. The bat loves her and will not harm her. If YOU treat a bat with kindness, the bat will not kill you. Unlike Billy's situation." 

The lights came on and we left. That was short, yet awesome. We stepped outside. Ranger Steve was there holding a bat cage. 

"I've learned my lesson," Phoebe said. "I'm not afraid of bats. If I'm nice to them, they'll be nice to me." 

"That's good," Ranger Steve said. "Would you like to pet our bat, Chipmunk?" 

"Sure!" Phoebe said. 

She reached in to pet Chipmunk. Chipmunk then reared around and bit Phoebe's finger! He left teeth marks. 

"Ahh!" Phoebe cried as she held her finger. 

It was official. This field trip ROCKED! 


End file.
